The Hideous Portrait: An Artistic Journey,
warts and all.

Today is probably one of these days that I'm satisfied on almost all accounts; I started with a watercolor painting on cotton paper, it's a random composition that soon turns into a ruins-scape. I did first the tonal painting with burnt umbre and then overlayed the colors. It did work, though I'm not too happy about the overall result. Perhaps if I put even more layers I'd be able to achieve better form separation, as it was starting to get 3D volume (especially in the mid-ground) but I was too bored/tired too keep going. I had already spent a long time on this piece. Aside from the general lack of volumes separation, I like the deep purple shadows, the green clouds in the background, the sky color and the foreground. Later in the evening, I started doodling on the ipad. I logged onto discord and started streaming, something I hadn't done in quite some time. And the result was mind-blowing! The sheet is full of interesting heads, fully-bodied characters and eve

Today has been a day. I tell myself that I did well. The inner voice proclaims that "though you haven't done anything creative, you've at least done some extensive practice - and in this case quantity beats creativity". There is this sadness and despair for not doing anything creative (some narrative, some color something). But there is the satisfaction that I was productive. I wasn't planning on grabbing the ipad but accidentally I started doodling, and then kept at it. I filled three sheets with faces, skulls trying to reconstruct the knowledge I'm supposed to have assimilated over these years of studying now that I have some distance from it and don't remember much. I like it.  Then I did a sheet full of disney's tarzan - I don't do that much; as a kid I did but not these past decades. Then again I'm not completely foreigner to it - like the day I was doing Steven universe poses or another day I was studying the proportions of the face of s

Now that the weather has finally cooled down I can go out and paint. Yesterday I got some positive feedback about my plein air studies and I realised that a part of was craving for an opportunity to further improve on that. Suddenly the stakes were high. I decided to go out outdoors, but avoid doing anything plein air related and instead take it easy and enjoy the different scenery for some imaginative painting. I filled three sheets, the first is an interesting imaginary landscape with a castle in the background, the second was a strange helmet and for the third one I tried improving my ability to describe details with only black shadows. I'm fairly satisfied with the perspective and (random) architecture in the first piece, the face/eyes shading in the second and a lot about the third. Overall, I'm mostly satisfied that I avoided the temptation to try and prove myself, and I'm starting become conscious of the fact of how much I enjoy describing forms via shadow.

So here's another day. I heard someone today commenting you should find a way to be proud that you did your (daily) effort and not focus on the result. Days such as today this is particularly relevant since the work I produced today hasn't been my proudest. So let's see, how do I reframe this? The positives! For starters, I did indeed pick up my brush and did some work today, this is another step in the right direction, possibly the biggest. Then, there is that I managed to practice a bit faces though I feel like I've lost what I had been studying about skulls and head proportions, these feel very free-style. Nonetheless, this is head practice, lifting the lower boundary; that is progress. Some of the heads have turned out very nice too. Especially the final sheet with the female torso. Again, these are all fineliner drawings with no sketch underneath. The snowy town, is again a quick-doodle. But again, it's quite something for "a quick doodle", that

I didn't feel very connected today. At the end of the day, it's been a productive one, such a contrast from how I feel. Is it perhaps that I did too much and didn't know when to stop? I'll have to be more mindful next time. I started with the boat sketch in tinted gray paper; apparently it's not much fun with watercolors; and my pastels are too thick. Perhaps I should get pencils (which I never thought I'd get - I hate the idea of them).  I like the simplicity of it, and the spaceship in the sky. After that I did a strange watercolor composition, like a city with a giant flower, with payne's grey that I overlaid with colors; if overlaying works with such dark colors, it will definitely work with lighter ones. I like the flower because it's something so out of character for me, and drawing one in a city... what was I thinking? This makes it feel like a huge win; a huge deviation from the self-ascribed roles. finally I did some attempts at faces with a fi

  Today's effort feels seem to me being my most illustrative attempt at watercolors so far;  my palette once again is built with burnt umber, cyan, ultramarine blue, permanent red light, quinacridone rose, madder lake deep and a bit of yellow ochre. No yellows or greens. I'm wondering however whether burnt I could simply use first burnt umber to lay the underpainting and then add colors on top instead of mixing everything separately with burnt umber. An experiment for another time. For now I'm satisfied that I took the patient approach (multiple layers to deepen the colors) and have managed t keep them definite. I also like the texture of the central orb (that was also the main theme) and how I saved the sky. Having said that, it always feels to me that something is missing, and this something is the fineline black outline. Anyway, interesting piece of work, time for bed.

I'm glad I finished drawing during the day, plus I had the opportunity to do a plein air study, something I haven't done in a long long time. I didn't have much time, merely 20-30mins; If I had more time, I'd push more the contrast and tighten the beams. Nonetheless I'm particularly happy that I've a) done a plein air study and b) something with metal beams - this is not something I typically attempt since the negative space is too complex to get it right. What else do I like about this piece? The colors! I'm particularly happy that after understanding a bit the magic of burnt umbre and sienna, I can now create muddy colors like the ones you can find in the world around us! Add to that that I've been for the first time to color-match watercolors to reality, I'm very satisfied. Looking forward to another opportunity to spent more time on a plein air. Earlier I got my hands on a 2€ sketchbook from Lidl only to discover that It's so much better to m