day #365 - the end of an era

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I thought I was on top of it; I had finished early and was looking for a movie to watch already 3 hours ago. And I don't know how time went by. A phonecall, some networking studying, some online shopping and here we are, already past the time for an early movie. Regardless, today is a special day. The blog is over! I finished 365 days of daily painting and recording it, whatever that means. A big part of the process I will have to keep doing mainly for myself. Perhaps taking daily photos of my work and saving it on some folder. This has provem useful many times when I trying to date a piece I've been working on. Also making a small diary of today's achievements. It's still useful. But this will be done for my eyes only. I also don't know if I will be continuing my obsessively daily painting. How would life be if I had days off? Now for example that I'm moving out and I have to daily chores that until now were completely taken care of, perhaps I'll allow my

day #117 - relief

 

Such a relief. Breaking the 45 days streak in posture and taking a break from studying anatomy has been such a relief. Today without the accumulated pressure of the last weeks (or months) I decided to again stay LoFi and do some watercolors on my cheap paper notebook. It was very fun. I mean nothing that I can present, since it's a page full of doodles, but I had forgotten that I can enjoy what I paint! Then again I'm not sure this is because of relaxing a bit, because of the natural media or a fluke (after all I've had similar days when painting on the ipad too) but it's been real fun - I can even sense myself thinking that I should order that large format paper I've been constantly putting off.

As a sidenote, the sadness and despair that has been building up has not gone away, but after the sense of utter failure from doing "all of my duties" yesterday my expectations from myself are much lower which is sad but I'm too tired and disappointed to bother that my work today is not advancing me technically. Then again (trying to think clearly) I was already trying to put technique aside and start focusing on the creativity of it all, so why the complaints?

Anyway, enough for now, time for bed.

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