day #365 - the end of an era

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I thought I was on top of it; I had finished early and was looking for a movie to watch already 3 hours ago. And I don't know how time went by. A phonecall, some networking studying, some online shopping and here we are, already past the time for an early movie. Regardless, today is a special day. The blog is over! I finished 365 days of daily painting and recording it, whatever that means. A big part of the process I will have to keep doing mainly for myself. Perhaps taking daily photos of my work and saving it on some folder. This has provem useful many times when I trying to date a piece I've been working on. Also making a small diary of today's achievements. It's still useful. But this will be done for my eyes only. I also don't know if I will be continuing my obsessively daily painting. How would life be if I had days off? Now for example that I'm moving out and I have to daily chores that until now were completely taken care of, perhaps I'll allow my
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day #121 - jungle of greens

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So day #121. Issues still remain unresolved. It still feels futile and pointless. I'm going through the motions of painting however. At the same time it's as if some scab is forming over the wound. The despair is underneath, hope feels plastic; at time I tell myself, is there a chance that I'm already there? At other times the question whether I can monetize a bit of my art and perhaps monetization will bring motivation? At times it's more honest glimmer of hope that shines through - I get this momentary feelings that perhaps if I focus on one thing I might be "this close" to cracking it and making it into livelihood. We're almost there it says, come, but the effort. Then I remember to turn my attention towards the so-called "there". Where is there? It seems a desert, completely hopeless. Working on paper is so much more enriching. I still don't feel like "studying" though. I'm just doodling. Today has been particularly good for a doodling day.

I like the composition, and the palette. I'm very happy with the variety of greens in this random piece. I'm starting to implant tree and leaf-like forms in it. I'm also proud of my brush control and how I can work both flat down or vertically, pivoting around my pinky, my palm, or suspended in thin air...

Perhaps something is maturing, I don't know. I'm also proud (trying not to jinx it) that despite burning out, I continue the habit of drawing/painting! I managed to stall only on the level of practice. I don't know, now I'm scared that soon I might fall of this horse too.

Anyway, enough for today - time for some mindless entertainment.

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