day #365 - the end of an era

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I thought I was on top of it; I had finished early and was looking for a movie to watch already 3 hours ago. And I don't know how time went by. A phonecall, some networking studying, some online shopping and here we are, already past the time for an early movie. Regardless, today is a special day. The blog is over! I finished 365 days of daily painting and recording it, whatever that means. A big part of the process I will have to keep doing mainly for myself. Perhaps taking daily photos of my work and saving it on some folder. This has provem useful many times when I trying to date a piece I've been working on. Also making a small diary of today's achievements. It's still useful. But this will be done for my eyes only. I also don't know if I will be continuing my obsessively daily painting. How would life be if I had days off? Now for example that I'm moving out and I have to daily chores that until now were completely taken care of, perhaps I'll allow my
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day #49 - Insomnia getting on my nerves...

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I'm starting to get pissed off with my sleep issues. Some days I don't have the patience to sit and do a self-portrait when I'm sleepless. Come to think about it, I feel I've created another commitment for myself here. And this one too, is perpetual. Luckily I wasn't very strict with enforcing it in the beginning so I have those early morning that instead of painting a self-portrait I would journal or (like a couple days ago) I would doodle - automatic drawing.

I should had done that today too; but I felt the guilt (is it truly guilt? or is it some other feeling? perhaps, fear!) that since I had already skipped last time's portrait, I was starting to steer away from "the commitment" of doing self-portraits and only self-portraits when I can't sleep. As if there is some rule on rationality to it.

Anyway. I played quite a bit with the brush engine of Procreate and finally started a colored value sketch (aka rough painting) when I was ready to try sleeping again. I like the exaggerated posture, the chair back that reflects the skin. The face with it's tired eyes. The body is disproportionately small compared to the head - a deviation from other times turning out disproportionately big. My own body-perception leans towards "small head, big body" - so this one looks simply funny...

Finally, I like the dull colors of the chair. That's all for today. I had somewhat accepted that tonight I'd paint again since I wasn't happy with my morning yield (I'm starting having productivity demands too!) but now that it's so late, and I'm so tired I'm willing to agree that I haven't committed to a certain level of productivity so I'll give myself a break for a change.

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