day #365 - the end of an era

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I thought I was on top of it; I had finished early and was looking for a movie to watch already 3 hours ago. And I don't know how time went by. A phonecall, some networking studying, some online shopping and here we are, already past the time for an early movie. Regardless, today is a special day. The blog is over! I finished 365 days of daily painting and recording it, whatever that means. A big part of the process I will have to keep doing mainly for myself. Perhaps taking daily photos of my work and saving it on some folder. This has provem useful many times when I trying to date a piece I've been working on. Also making a small diary of today's achievements. It's still useful. But this will be done for my eyes only. I also don't know if I will be continuing my obsessively daily painting. How would life be if I had days off? Now for example that I'm moving out and I have to daily chores that until now were completely taken care of, perhaps I'll allow my

day #332 - Lots of sculpting and faces - Walking Angry

Something is really off. Today has been a decent day, I did lots of VR sculpting practicing both my VR sketching skills, aswell as my anatomy skills and in the evening I did some watercolor graphite sketches using 5min references from quickposes. It was fairly enjoyable, and out of the 6 I did, there was the ones that captured the likeness, the ugly ones, and one that I find so beautiful. It wasn't the intention, it has some heavy distortions and the likeness is average but my oh my - one of my favorite sketches ever; reason? The expression is full of life!
Yet, only a few minutes ago I realized it's already 2am despite my efforts to haste as much as possible and discovered a great amount of rage in me. The rage, for once again pushing myself to this hour, stressing, getting overworked, and not having the time to relax! The visit to the park today, where I listened to music didn't count apparently! I wanted... I wanted...
I want (in present tense) relaxation, entertainment, fun, amusement, and to unwind, and I need to feel inspired. I don't want to go to bed once again rushing for the next day's work.
This brings me to a very strange place. For a start it's obvious to me that I it's important to work with myself, not against myself. So I need a solution that will allow me to both satisfy my short-term and longterm need satisfaction. I need to make time for fun. That I know. I want to paint, and I'm grateful that I have the urge these days, so I don't want to cut on that. Instagram is something that is taking 30-120 minutes, probably closer to the later. I wonder how I could make it easier. Perhaps here the only realistic option is seeing that a day can't contain all that and accept that I need to slow down my production. Perhaps that's all there is to do. I need to look at where time goes during my day (and night).

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